Love: A Rant

 "What is love besides two souls trying to heal each other?"

                                                       
- Pierce The Veil

Attention: The following article is completely raw and unfiltered.This blog only consists of my own opinions, I am in no way trying to influence or offend anyone. This is a diary entry from 20th February . Enjoy <3

We all want to be loved. To be heard, to be reassured, to be comforted by another. To avoid the pain and melancholy of loneliness. To be cared for, to have someones to lean on, to have someone be worried about you, to have someone to cry with. 
I think that's why we date. We date, we marry, we reproduce. Its not about survival, its about feelings and emotions.

A lonely man will kill himself, he will not care about survival. Who is he surviving for? Nobody.

We crave for somebody, anybody. To have a warm body next to you when you sleep, to have someone to hold and be held. 

We crave for love, we're starved for it, we beg for it, we kill for it, we can be killed for it. That is the extent to which we're willing to go.
We watch endless shows and movies about happy and unhappy love stories, we listen to millions of songs about love, affection, romance, heartbreak,etc

Dating, live-in relationships and marriage is there really any difference between the three? They serve one purpose and one purpose alone, to rid us of our loneliness. The very same loneliness that we fear will be eternal.

I think the reason society accepts marriage and not relationships and dating is because marriage more or less, permanent. Its most likely to be long term and lasting.
In society's eyes, that is perfect. A long term cure to one's loneliness, their needs and desires. I'm talking about Indian society here, the one I live in.

If marriage is a novel with no chapters, dating is a thriller - adventure with multiple chapters. Each new chapter is a new person, you remember the previous chapter, you miss it but the next is too exciting to keep thinking about the old one. Its something that you must discover and explore. Changes are a constant in your life. But with each page you flip, choices, regrets, joy all pass one after the other. All that you feel, the thrill, the adrenaline rush, its all temporary.

Society hates that, because during the gaps, the feeling of loneliness seep back in and that's not okay. Being alone and lonely are completely different by the way.

Love gives us purpose in life.

Being not lonely and to have everything that love has to offer is like a drug. This is because once we've had the taste of that, we're all addicts. We keep chasing it, we keep chasing how high it gets us. We hit lows too of course, but that doesn't stop us, we try again and again and again.
A new person, a new strategy, a new plan. We never quit.
I think that's why people date so much, we can never be satisfied.

Some people chase the more permanent option: marriage. Of course you don't know if it is permanent. There's always divorce.
It's all a gamble. But we think, its a high risk, high reward game, I'm in.

But what is love really? Even when we get love, we want it from a particular person. A person who looks a certain way, acts a certain way and speaks a certain way.
If we are so desperate for love, then why the filters? Why the terms and conditions?

I think that's where the whole reproduction, generation, genes, legacy thing comes into play. The first step was to get rid of the void, to find someone, anyone. But then once we do find someone, we realize that, "Oh! I have the ability to love, to be loved and cared for. Then why should I settle with what I have? I can find someone better."
And this cycle never ends, because there is always someone better.

I think these are the two main steps to have a "successful relationship" at least in the eyes of people around you.

Step 1 : Get rid of that loneliness
Step 2 : Find someone better, better,better...


The second step exists because we want to have the possible off spring, to continue our legacy, we want to live through them, they are our last marks on this planet before we pass.

These were the rules even back in the caveman days. A relationship was only considered successful if it bore healthy off springs. Women chose the strongest and the wisest among the men, to ensure that their child too would have those qualities.
But humans evolved, civilizations were created and with that modernization happened. We finally had time to think about other things other than when our next meal was or if we would get mauled and killed by a wild animal in the next five minutes.
Survival was not our top priority anymore. And with all this time and thinking, the concept of romance came into existence.

Love always existed, affection always existed, but romance was something only the privileged could afford. Then there was the rise of the middle class and the upper middle class. Through the decades, the line between love and romance slowly blurred and faded away all together. 
Today, love and romance are synonymous with one another. I think somewhere along the line, we forgot how to love, we only knew how to romance.
We focused more on being as 'lovable' as possible instead of loving. 

We all became a part of a ruthless 'love market'. We tried to sell ourselves by trying to be the most attractive, the most likable, the funniest, the wealthiest, so on and so forth. Love became a transaction where both parties had to mutually benefit by being together. 
I buy your product, you get my money. You read my blog, I get a view (and lots of joy).

I will yap more about this some other time, for now keep sipping your chai :)
See ya!

Inspiration and source:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcbEiZQ9B7o&t=275s&pp=ygUgb3VyIGNvbmNlcHQgb2YgbG92ZSBpcyBtZXNzZWQgdXA%3D